Posted on: October 25, 2007

Kiss, Kiss

The good news: Your wedding ceremony will culminate with a passionate smooch. Even better news: Practice makes perfect

By Bev Bennett
CTW Features

Overdoing the first kiss can make people uncomfortable, as can an underwhelming smooch. Experts say the best kisses are classy and passionate: Open-mouth with no tongue.

A kiss is still a kiss unless you have all your friends and family standing by. Then, depending on your smooching technique, the kiss merits a collective sigh, a photo opportunity or a story that will haunt you the rest of your married life.

Weddings are made for puckering up, and it starts with those memorable words, “You may now kiss the bride.” And yes, how you lock lips does make a difference, say the lip savvy.

“As a former wedding singer, I’ve witnessed dozens – if not hundreds – of wedding kisses,” says Julia Sullivan, a writer and organizational consultant, Cambridge, Mass. “The key principle is this: Your parents are watching you,” she says. “Give the most loving kiss you feel comfortable with under their scrutiny.”

Too little contact will have your guests talking, as will too much. Avoid both the peck on the cheek and tongue wrestling, says Sue Fox, owner of Etiquette Survival, Los Gatos, Calif.

“I recommend erring on the formal side and being classy,” Fox says, who regularly consults with business companies about appropriate manners.

Although you know how to kiss – it’s pretty difficult to get this far in a relationship without some lip skills – Fox recommends you discuss the all-important moment with your partner before the wedding.

“A lot will depend on the couples’ personality,” says Fox, author of “Etiquette for Dummies” (Wiley Publishing, Inc., 1999).

“Open-mouthed, no tongue is probably the way to go. A kiss that lasts between 10 and 20 seconds ‘looks right’ to most observers,” says Sullivan.

And for those who want to get a rise from the onlookers, Sullivan offers this cautionary observation:

“In my experience most of the people who did the big, sexy smooch thing at the alter were divorced within five years,” she says.

The Pucker Effect

The wedding couple isn’t the only people in the room ready to plant one at the ceremony.

During this joyous time you may find lips coming at you from all directions. Etiquette guru Sue Fox offers some tips on who and how to kiss:

• The social kiss: “In the art of the social kiss the person who is the recipient is in control,” she says. “You can slightly turn a cheek, or put a light hand on someone’s shoulder if you don’t want a kiss.”

• No kiss: It isn’t appropriate to kiss or hug someone you haven’t met before. But if you’ve bonded during the wedding you may exchange hugs goodbye at the end of the event.

• Air kisses: They’re best left to celebrities. They look phony, Fox says.